For hours hurricane Helene swirled over Western North Carolina while the hundreds of trees that surround my home threatened to crush everything below, my office being right in their path. This was the height of three days of severe weather. Feeling unsafe during the storm made serenity seem distant. This feeling can continue after a natural disaster has passed and the situation continues to be unstable.
Finding serenity is possible in the wake of a natural disaster. With awareness as my primary tool- these are the ways that I found serenity during the aftermath of hurricane Helene. They can be applied to any situation that throws you out of balance.
First assess the environment around you. If there is no immediate threat to your safety, just take it one small step at a time. Remember: “First Things First”. The purpose is to find out what may become a threat if it is not addressed soon. This may be debris obscuring exits, leaking pipes (gas or water), hanging debris from buildings or trees around the home, or people who are injured or unwell in the direct vicinity. Just take note of what is likely to get worse and what can be returned to. This is a fact-finding step before taking action.
When the storm cleared, we had no power or water but the winds had stopped and there was no damage inside the house. We stepped outside to assess the damage. There were holes in the roof and there were trees blocking exits. Because the sky was clear we left the holes in the roof for later.
First-things-first for us meant finding tools for removing the blockages to our exits.
Part of the assessment determined that cell signal, water, electricity, fuel, and road access were inaccessible...
As the massive scale of the hurricane's destruction became clear, it dawned on me how supremely valuable the skill of Resting In Not-Knowing is .
This skill is about releasing expectations to the facts of the situation. This is fact-finding about one’s inner response to the situation.
1. Identify your expectation; What is
wanted and not happening?
~Is it comfort; convenience?
~It could be the familiarity of work,
~Pleasurable activities like going out for fun
~The financial security of being on
the job,
~Being busy, or something else.
2. Identify what you are powerless over.
3. Identify three things by which you are
humbled. To be humbled is to be less
proud or self-important through
awareness. Take in the facts of the
situation and reflect on what
automatically brings self-importance
down a notch.
Example:
1. I expect to have engagement through
work.
2. I am powerless to make our
conveniences return.
3. I am humbled by my inability to predict
or prepare for this.
Once we’ve sorted out expectations from facts we can begin to process the body’s shock and discomfort. Recognize that everything you wrote down is true for you and also could not have been expected.
With compassion, acknowledge that the unknown is part of being human. We have less control than the mind says we have, and connecting to how we are humbled and powerless can highlight this. Next, rest.
After the evaluation, take some time to rest. Release the expectations to the facts. Commit to embracing the unknown...for now. Remember, even our thoughts cannot be predicted. Set a timer if it helps you and get comfortable. Rest without any intention to do anything- but to simply rest in not-knowing. If anything arises, release it to the reality of the unknown.
This is when processing the aftermath began for me- days after the initial storm. The first few days were about making sure that all were safe around me. The following week I took time to notice my physical and mental state.
I tend to be productive but also spend time connecting with myself every day. It was essential for me to find ways to still be active and create new kinds of work for myself. I'm used to connecting with my partner when cooking and adventuring, doing computer-based work, and I call people every day.
This is how I applied self-care and found some rest in the aftermath of hurricane Helene.
No electricity meant that all my computer work ceased, cooking was not easy, and I couldn't make coaching sessions or phone calls. This being the reality, I made a decision to surrender all worry about abandoning my old routine; I decided no amount of mental gymnastics would turn the situation around- and that any focus on these types of thoughts was a waste of my energy.
To switch the focus I looked at the facts and then took action. The fact was that my routine needed to be wiped and remade in a way that aligned with my values. Here's how to rework the routine compassionately.
I value connection. One way I adjusted my routine was to begin writing letters to people that I hadn’t connected with for a long time. I had more time in my schedule to clean up my office, coming across postage stamps and envelopes that had been lost. I created a comfortable, calm, clean space in which to connect with my old friends, and then I added writing letters to my routine. I wrote letters to people each day. I found it felt intimate to write to them with pen and paper, and I felt connected.
When I didn’t have the motivation to connect to a friend in a letter, I wrote about my state of mind and what my daily priorities were now compared to before the storm. Similar to when Covid-19 struck the U.S., I had fallen out of the habit of writing in journals. I now added this back into my day. The lack of connection with others was soothed by connecting to them in letters or to myself in my journals.
When disaster strikes we can sometimes feel guilty if we don’t run to help right away. The truth is that if we don’t feel worthy of care for ourselves we don’t have much to give.
Before going out to help others, assess your body. Here is what I did:
When we tune into underlying emotions we get insight about our needs. If you find you don't have access to water for washing yourself and drinking, adequate nutrition, or reliable space for rest these should be given priority. Give care to yourself.
In summary, by exploring with tools of inquiry including First-Things First, Resting In Not Knowing, creating value based routines and honoring the body-experience, I believe a person can not only endure the unpredictability of the aftermath of natural disasters- but find serenity through it.
Authors note:
The previous article is speaking to an audience that has been through an environmental hardship, but is emotionally and physically safe enough to spend time with themselves after disaster has stricken. If you are unsure if you are safe, please connect to a local neighbor or official to seek the nearest in-person support for your basic needs and emotional well-being.
Receiving help or asking for support are other ways to show yourself care. However, asking for help can be unfamiliar.
Some ways to ask for help are to say “I’m having a hard time,” “I don’t know how to feel right now,” “Do you have time to check in, I’m feeling ___(disconnected, etc)”, or “Could we make a plan to get together this week?” or "I need some essentials and I am wondering if you can help me find them in our area?"
Honestly expressing that you are struggling lets people know you want to connect and need assistance, without having to explicitly say, “I need help.” You are worthy of this expression and to receive help.
I hope these tools and insights can bring you or someone you know a source of strength and light in challenging times, as they did for me.
Taking Care Of Yourself:
Rest and Routine
Morning coffee and reading the news headlines
Reading new emails and responding to them
Preparing For Work
~Going To Work
Answering texts and chatting on social media
Doing chores on the weekend
Staying up watching TV until bedtime
Scrolling Socials as a way of winding down
