How To Find Purpose In Life

I work with smart people who know what no longer serves them; people who know what they need to change in order to be their best-self going forward. Often this includes how they make money or spend their energy.
Knowing who we are is a useful result of inner work.
Still, how does it go on to change how we live our lives?
What about concerns around big change resulting in stuckness, lethargy, or uninspired feelings?

I recently met a woman- let's call her Joan- who used to be a high-earning sales executive working in the medical field.
Joan saw the inner-workings of this industry and felt out of alignment with her values while selling over priced products. Furthermore, witnessing the marketing side of this industry left her astonished. Caught in this mis-alignment between her career and her values- Joan coped in ways she knew didn’t serve her; through food, alcohol, and relationships. Though she had known spirituality during her thirties, her faith became shunted as she spiraled into the trap of apathy and self-medicating.
In between contracts there was an opportunity to work with neuro-divergent children, and for a moment- she excelled. After deciding to shift her life in the direction of helping kids- while turning back toward past talents in alternative-therapy, the spiral of coping rendered Joan unable to move on. She couldn't quit her contract work, go on to help children, or follow through with healing others. Stuck, Joan knew what no longer served her, yet she didn’t have the trust or motivation to transition to what felt like meaningful work.

Joan reminded me of me. I worked for most of my life in sales-y environments. Playing activist and thinking this would fulfill my wish to help others, in my limited capacity on the sales floor I negotiated successfully for workers' rights. Yet, after these hard-fought “gains”- felt very little satisfaction. Deflated, I wondered: ‘What is my purpose in life?'
I knew I wanted to make a difference, but after that I had no clarity.

Settling back into a comfortably-numb place in the company, I began using Wholeness Work for personal change. I needed to, my coping spiral was literally getting the best of me. I met with a coach once a week. My guide asked provocative questions unlike any I'd pondered before and we worked to relax my nervous system. I learned how to investigate the nature of the I. I didn’t know at the time I was unveiling my true purpose.
After about six weeks of relaxing subtle tensions with my coach I started to feel a new kind of peace. It wasn’t quite a pull in another direction- though certainly a re-orienting was happening.

I wanted to quit my job, seriously- but gave it a week to see what I really felt. During this week fear and shame about not knowing my purpose in life came up. What was next for me? I wanted to know how to leave my job without hurting my boss’s feelings. I wanted to know what to say to set a boundary with them- a boundary which meant I would be leaving ASAP. I worked with these feelings on a sensory level, not getting lost in mental circles thanks to the steps Wholeness had taught me. These feelings were allowed to move through my system instead of getting caught on old belief systems and recirculating.

I worked with Wholeness when I got home from work one day. While sitting quietly for 20 minutes I felt a warmth flush my body and felt a truth arise- don't wait another minute to do something. I felt total clarity, drove back to work, and told my manager I was putting in my notice.

“Should” feelings were easily worked through in Wholeness work. I discovered core beliefs- hidden beliefs. Some examples of hidden beliefs that I found: You'll only end up doing unpleasant work for pay; Being born a woman means you are meant to endure pain, it's inevitable. There were also conditioned cultural influences such as: You should feel guilty for leaving others in their suffering. Whenever there was a story, it came from a voice referring to me as “you”. In truth, the specifics of stories matter very little in order to change how ‘should’ voices appear.

For me, I didn’t have a clear image of what the destination was that I was shifting towards when those voices disappeared- after I left my job- which was curious because I was clear about leaving. I was sure easing into this new relaxed feeling was the right move, regardless of previous fears around security.

The next thing I knew I was not re-signing my lease but moving across the country instead.

The natural results of transforming core beliefs were leaving my old job, moving away from my home-state, stepping into deeper intimacy with my boyfriend, and taking classes to start my own business. None of this was planned, but like a rug rolling out in front of me- each time I lifted my foot to take a step it just kept unfurling as I remained open to listening. As I listened, a deep trust unfolded in me that expressed safety in being myself. This was my purpose- it was revealed. Belief was removed and my purpose remained- clear as day, guiding me forward. Looking back, I hadn't even needed to look for it.

"None of this was planned, but like a rug rolling out in front of me- each time I lifted my foot to take a step it just kept unfurling as I remained open to listening."

The sensitive part of this unfolding is that I moved away from friends and family when I followed my purpose. That I did this from a clear place of knowing rather than a confusion-riddled impulse made it feel soft, gentle, and right. I had thoughts about how others would somehow not be okay with it, and an ease settled upon me as trust in the truth of my being reestablished itself. Being myself, I can’t go wrong.

Wholeness Work teaches trust in a completely new way. I used to not know the meaning of trust. I thought it was something lost when somebody discovers a lie. Now I trust my purpose is written in the fiber of my being similar to how the genetic code of an organism is wholly present within a single cell. Within a single cell is the entire genome of the whole. Wholeness has helped me understand this in an experiential way- as I witness events unfold around me as an extension of my own body, life, and world.
In an acorn resides the whole tree.

Joan was sitting with me this morning after doing some healing work, sharing her talents. I asked her how she would answer, generally, “How did you know you wanted to do this instead of your previous career?” She said, “Oh God, I knew the whole time- it was horrible!” She stayed with that company for longer than she wanted to. Her path did not intersect with Wholeness Work until recently, many years after the pain of not knowing her direction established itself in her life. Thankfully, she moved on through other means and now works with children in an alternative school while doing energy-work on the side. I can't help but wonder how long it would have taken her to change direction if what I had learned through somatic integration techniques and self-inquiry were available to her.

According to Indeed.com, to start a new career at 50 one should “recognize your transferable skills, establish a transition plan, fill in the gaps in your skill set, gain experience that demonstrates your new skills, and network with the right people”.
Indeed doesn’t say anything about changing beliefs that lend a person to stay in the same, bad situation for longer than they want to.

Is the fear of financial insecurity causing hesitation?
Is it an obligation to provide security to family or friends, and not wanting to disappoint?
Is the idea of reaching certain milestones first keeping you stuck, for now?

The story really doesn’t matter. The reasons we don’t know our purpose make themselves known sooner or later, because they leave us feeling scared, sad, lonely, or bored. The walls of belief are what is in the forefront- they are why we can’t see what we are meant to do- they're not hard to uncover.

To most directly find out what your purpose in life is- I recommend you connect with someone who was lost- like you may be- who has traveled the path back to themselves. Ideally, their path will have been efficient.

To find out what you are meant to do- it is essential to investigate who we are taking ourselves to be- who we think we are-
and see this to be false.

This is what Wholeness Wisdom was founded to do.

I know it’s never too late to have a happy life.
This can be known by anyone who has had enough and is ready to take a look within.